I was born and raised in the same small suburb of Orange County my whole life. The Southern California lifestyle in a middle-class home. I was nearly at the age of self discovery, flirting with the line of kid and mature young girl( or so I thought at thirteen). For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to be older.
January 2003-March 2003:
My friends and I talked on IM, AIM (AOL Instant Messenger, for those of you who aren't familiar with the term) Occasionally my girlfriends and I would get a boys SN (screen name) and chat like we were older. Even as I'm typing that I realize how dangerous that was BUT I will remind you, the Internet hasn't always been as scary as it is now. Besides the point a friend had sent me the SN for a cute boy named Kieth (a friend). So we chatted about this and that (I mean what could a thirteen year old talk about, really? ) and then one fateful evening he asked if he could call me from his friend Michael's phone. Giddy and excited to finally hear the voice I've been speaking with for so long (probably a week...) he called! Before hanging up he said I could call anytime I wanted, so with a sore smile and flushed cheeks we said goodnight. I called him back first thing after school, only Keith wasn't with Michael, but instead of a 2 minute conversation of "would you tell him I called?" Michael and I ended up talking for hours. We had so much in common and the sound of his voice gave me butterfly's. Eventually, when we did hang up, all I wanted to do was call him back and talk more, I loved the sound of his voice.
We danced around things for weeks and Keith and I lost touch (I was talking with Michael more and more) I finally got so filled with excitement, curiosity, and grew wary of waiting that I did it, I just spat it out like it was what I meant to say all along..."we have been talking for a long time, I really like you..... I like you too...... would you want to meet, see a movie maybe? Sure. It was that fateful day that I met him for the first time.
It was all planned out my friend Clarissa and I had it all planned out, I was staying at her house so we could stay out a little later, we went to the Orange Block to see "Bringing Down the House" and Michael was meeting us there!! The whole car ride there her mom was asking what we were planning to do, when we would be done, did we have our phones (what else should I expect?) We explained we would be out by ten holding back my exploding smile and nervous actions the whole time. (We were there)
I remember walking towards the theatre nervous as all can be looking around for even the slightest appearance of a boy waiting for a girl, there he was... I was so nervous at first. He stood there in all black, big boat skater shoes, baggy black pants held at hips by a studded belt a black band shirt from Hot Topic and an over sized black hoodie, He had bright red hair gelled and wore down over his forehead, he looked like one of those punk kids that would always tease the others. I was weary and kept my distance but he smelled sweet and he had a sparkle in his eye when he talked to me. We got our seats and as we were getting comfy, my insides were going haywire, my hands were jumpy, not knowing were to lay, my thoughts racing all over the place and then, wait, oh my gosh! He reached for my hand cupping it first and then lacing his fingers with mine. His hands were hot and wet, weird. As the movie ended I was rushed with the feeling of my stomach doing a back flip and my body feeling awkward, I wasn't sure what to do next. He pulled his hand away as we got up to leave, I was surprised how comfortable and good it felt to hold his hand. He walked Clarissa and I close to where her mom was supposed to meet us, holding my hand tight the whole time. We talked and giggled and when her mom got there, I jetted my lips out and quickly and gently pecked his lips before I ran to the car. It was the ending to our first date, a day that became a significant part of my life, for what seems like forever.
What ever happened to the school girl crush? It doesn't seem like love is that easy anymore. Its not just about two people liking each other anymore. Its like our grown-up lives have complicated even the simplest, best feelings that exist. Now I have to think about where I want to live, (like here isn't assumed because that is what it has been) Kids....do they want them, do they not want them, Lifestyle...do they do drugs, are they dependable, could I be happy with him for the rest of my life??
Wishing for the Simple things in life,
Little girl@ heart forever,
Daysey Soallo
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